Pain

So I've been either sick or in pain since basically June. I have a chronic pain condition that I've talked about before, and I had a few months over the summer that I dealt with kidney stones and the aftermath of those. So I've probably had about 2 weeks worth of really good days since June, all spread out over the months.

There has also been a huge amount of stress and transition in the last few months, and all of this has lead me to slack off here. Mostly not knowing what to wrote, or being able to write about what's going on. Still can't share a whole lot.

I'm in the middle of yet another pain flare up, and will likely be seeing a neurologist in the near future  to see if they can help with symptom control.

So all of this has me thinking. A bit tongue in cheek of course, but as a masochist why can't I find any enjoyment out of this chronic pain? LOL it's not a serious question, but damn it would be nice!

This past week I went to a couple of workshops at our local sex positive center. They classes were out on by Shay and Stefanos (http://www.stefanosandshay.com) and let me tell you, if you ever get a chance to have them teach you, take them up on it! They are not only both extremely hot, but their chemistry, dynamic, love and trust are truly amazing to witness.

I went to their predicament workshop, "It's a Trap!" and it was so much fun. It talks about playful scenes, ways to put some fun and interesting "traps" into your scenes. And then I went to their "Precipice" workshop. All about edge play. How to find your edges, both as a top and a bottom, how to push them, and what that might look like. The demonstrations were hot, intense, and made me look forward to putting that knowledge into practice.

I love that even though stress is high, and health is crappy right now, that Sir and I are finding ways to keep up our intimacy, and dynamic. It's been stronger since the workshops, and I am so thankful for that. His lead has really helped bring me through this time.

Oh! And since I haven't been able to wear my collar since it started affecting my cranial pressure, Sir bought me a new cuff from Wyred Slave. I love it so much!

That part

You know in the last entry, that part about no kink? Well, I spoke too soon. Sir and I talked last night, and I expressed the need for stress release, a beating, or sharps session, just something to take the tension away. I have been so anxious that I didn't think to ask for what I needed to ground me, to make me feel safe and taken care of. Until last night that is.
He ordered me to take a shower since I'd been neglecting my self care. When I came out he had the cane in his hand. I whimpered about how it was going to hurt because I was still wet from the shower, and he just nodded. And our evening started. A great caning where I came twice, followed by incredible sex.
Today? Today I feel like another person. I had friends over to watch football while Sir cleaned out the storage unit (he hates football.) Then there was some family time when I built Legos, my kid built some of his, and Sir played video games. Now I've had a couple of drinks, and I feel great. Calm, and at ease with the uncertainty of the future. I feel like as long as we are who we are, and our family and friends are behind us, that we'll make it through this hard time.
Hopefully this means I'll be around more. But since Sir is working two jobs until the end of the week, and then it will be push time with the new venture, I may or may not be around much. I do know that I'll try though. :)

Not feeling it

As I'm sitting here reading blogs I'm realizing that I'm still not in the right place to be posting right now. Things are in such flux that I can hardly see straight, and I'm anxious all the time. PMS isn't helping matters, and neither is this cold that is finally letting go of me, but has left me weak and fatigued.

No kink to talk about, can't talk about the big changes that are happening right now, bored to death of the 30 days of _____ challenges, so I guess I'm not feeling the blogging thing right now.

I'll try to keep up with everyone and reply when I can.

Miss it here.

xoxo

Weekend

Date night was lovely, though I discovered that I am not a fan of more than a sip or two of pumpkin beer.
I did find a very pleasing sparkling mead that I will have to search out, because I could drink that all day everyday!
Woke up this morning feeling the worst than I have all week, it like my body said "enough! You're going to rest whether you like it or not!" Fever, chills, stuffed up nose, aches. Just plain old sick. Luckily Sir is taking great care of me and our little one. I'm so thankful for him. He also makes a hell of a hot toddy!

Anyway, I have lots of rest to do this weekend. Next week is jam full of appointments and fun. We're going to a party at the local kink club on Friday that I can't wait for! It's our first event there as a couple since we joined last October, so I can not wait! Then I'll be at a convention all weekend long. Before that, I have therapy (with the best kink friendly therapist I have ever known!) and I have an appointment with a GI specialist to figure out what's going on with my tummy. All of this is good, and I can't wait. So I will force myself to listen to Sir and "concentrate on getting better."

Not a lot to say

I'm stuck here in blogger land without much to say. The 30 days of kink have bored me, but I'll get back to them soon. Probably short answer, all in one post when I do them again.

Stress has been high around here. Came home from my weekend away sick.

Thankfully dynamic is in place, wish we could get physical, but I'm getting over this stupid cold I picked up.

Tomorrow is date night so that should be nice. Maybe we'll get just liquored up not to care that I'm sick and we'll have some long over due sexy times.

Hope everyone has a wonderful weekend. Off to read every one's blogs.

xoxo