I just read this Slate article by Jillian Keenan which poses the question, is kink a sexual orientation? She makes an excellent argument for yes. There is one thing she writes that rings particularly true for me, "For years, I identified as bisexual because I’m sexually attracted to both men and women and have acted on that attraction. But in recent years, as I explored my own sexuality more, I’ve realized that’s not quite accurate. I’m not attracted to men or women as a group—I’m attracted to “tops,” or sexually dominant people, as a group; their gender is irrelevant. Many kinky people describe similar feelings."
Here is a link to the article, what are your thoughts?
http://www.slate.com/blogs/outward/2014/08/18/is_kink_a_sexual_orientation.html
Interesting article, initially when I read your post title my immediate instinct was no, its not a sexual orientation, but as you said she puts up a strong argument.
ReplyDeleteIt actually had me questioning, if Master were to decide that this lifestyle was no longer for him, and he wanted to go vanilla, would our relationship survive that transition?...its a hugely unlikely scenario lol
Honestly, I dont think it would, his dominance turns me on, his control and authority over me is what i need, thrive on, its more than just a sexual orientation, but yes i couldnt argue with her logic.
Tori, kink is such a huge part of my sexual being that I couldn't be completely vanilla. We would have to open our marriage or lose it. Sex without it is like a yawn you can't finish. Something is missing. I would have to get that need met somewhere. Thankfully Sir feels the same way.
DeleteIt's a really intriguing idea, and it seems to express my sexuality much better than pansexual. I might find someone aesthetically pleasing, but to get my motor running they have to be confident, competent and dominant. Gender doesn't matter, I've been attracted to all genders, binary and non, all have been dominant personalities.
This is such an interesting post and I have to say that I agree. At this point, I feel like I will always and forever be sexually frustrated in my marriage because my desires will never be met. It doesn't matter how much I want it and what I say or do to convince my husband, I will not be getting it. So I often wonder what will become of me. What will the denial of my sexual orientation do to me? To us? To our marriage? If I had realized that I was gay, would it feel the same? To have to continue to have sex with someone in a way that was never fulfilling and never will be. It seems daunting. And depressing.
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