Lessons

Sometimes I'm a slow learner. Like years and years slow.

I was reminded of two lessons last night. First, do not cover myself and try to take the tiny flogger from Sir, even if I can't stand the sensation of my nipples and breast being rapidly smacked with it over and over anymore. Best to suck it up buttercup, because it only means that I will have to endure it longer and harder. Second, do not run away from the "pointy shocky thing." Sir will be very cross and I will end up having to lay perfectly still while he decided how many, if any shocks I am to receive.

The "pointy shocky thing" also taught me a new lesson. That, like grief, for me there are five stages of submission. Denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. Well, in very specific circumstances anyway.
The moment Sir brings that toy out I start saying, "no, no, no" getting louder each time. Now for me, bargaining comes next, "but I'm a good girl, I promise to be better, please?"
SHOCK!
"Ouchie!"
Then I get angry, I growl and hiss.
SHOCK!
"Ow son of a bitch!"
SHOCK
The next step I'll call disobedience instead of depression. This is usually where I move and contort my body in any way to get away. I even locked myself in the bathroom once, NOT A GOOD IDEA. Did you know that if you do that, you actually have to come out at some point, and that's never good.
That's when I hear, "get back here. Lay down, don't move."
I lay down next to Sir where he tells me to be "absolutely still," his voice calm but extremely firm.
I keep myself as still as I'm able, waiting for the inevitable shock, or shocks that I know I'm about to get for defiance. Sir runs the "pointy shocky thing" over my skin, pulls it back, and goes in for the shock. It doesn't come. "Good Girl." He puts the toy away, and I relax. Whew!