Thanksgiving

I hope you all had a fantastic thanksgiving! It was wonderful for us, we went to my inlaw's for the holiday where I always feel so taken care of. Wine was poured freely, and my sister in law even made me special food to help me avoid the food I'm allergic to, but also not feel like I was eating an entirely different dinner from everyone else. Gluten free stuffing, dairy free mashed potatoes... I was so spoiled.

My kid is going though huge struggles right now, we're trying to find the correct medication adjustment for him. It's tough, and being away from home was hard on him, but he did great. I'm so proud.

Sir gave me a writing assignment late last week that I missed the deadline on, luckily he was u dee standing with everything that was going on and gave me a few days to finish it. I had to write about weather or not I should keep this graphic and why:

I decided that I needed to keep it. It reminds me that my chronic pain condition isn't a little thing, it's a big huge thing. It robs me of so much, time, energy, self-worth. In the same breath it motivates me, makes me realize that if I can handle all of that, I can make it through anything. It reminds me that it's more than just pain, that I shouldn't let others down play it, and that I shouldn't either. It inspires me to live the life I want in spite of the pain and all that goes with it. 

I am not an invalid, far from, but I am also not superwoman. There is a lot I deal with daily, weekly, for years and years. I need to learn to take care of myself before I can take care of others. So that's what I wrote. I haven't gotten any feedback yet, but I'm sure I will soon.

Another flare up of pain started while we were away, so I am medicating and trying to remember self care. Sir did a seminar with other Doms and got some great ideas about how to keep our dynamic strong while I'm flaring, and I'm happy to say that the ideas have been wonderful so far. He has commanded more respect, and kept me in line better than in years. It's like he's no longer afraid to demand the service and respect that he is due. It has made my self esteem soar and made this flare up easier to deal with. 

Anyway, this has been terribly disjointed. I'm so out of practice writing. I'll try to be around more, miss it when I'm not here!

I fell off the face of the earth.

So much and so little has kept me away from blogland. Mostly it's been my health, but there have been some other things. Like the transition from Sir being gainfully employed to him working on "personal projects." Really he has a job, it's just not exactly a paying gig right now. So here we are, living off of savings, and COBRA insurance. With my health problems and my son's therapy appointments (he's high functioning ASD) we are paying out the butt for insurance that keeps us from being bankrupted by medical bills.

Personally, I've been sick for a few weeks. Either flared up in pain, or like right now, fighting of yet another cold/fever. It's getting really fucking old. I don't see my neuroopthomologist until Dec, and at that time if he can't figure out a better way to manage pain, I'm asking for a referral to the neurology group at the hospital. We'll see how it goes.

Another thing that has kept me away from here is a severe lack of kink. Like everything in life it ebbs and flows, and right now it's definitely low tide. Dynamic is in place mostly though, so I feel comfortable. We did manage to have sex a couple of days ago with a ton of orgasm control, and nipples that are still sore. Afterward I was dozing off while we were watching tv, and the sadist kept bumping me awake. Apparently sleep control is a new thing. Not that I'm complaining mind you.

I am also doing the research I need to start another blog where I will be researching and reporting on strains of marijuana, their usage, benefits and drawbacks. I also want to slowly introduce advocacy topics to encourage decriminalization and/or legalization in the rest of the country. It's my pet project and fully expect it will take me several months to get it up and running. I'm passionate about this cause, especially because it is the only thing that helps my pain during a flare up.

So that's what I've been up to. I'm going to try to catch up on everyone's blogs, but it might take me a while. Hugs to all!