Hi all! I'm still dealing with a crazy bad flare up, but I see my doc next week so hopefully it's only short term.
That said, I am so excited to be participating in a submissive workshop put on my Mr. Sinclair Sexsmith, called Submissive Playground. It is an eight week course online, with video chats and a one on one with Mr. Sexsmith. (I paid for the star tier of the course.) I'm so excited to be doing something subby. First video chat is Saturday morning, and the introvert in me is screaming for me to skip it, but the good sub in me is over ruling that, I will be there and I WILL participate, even if it is passively.
I'm looking forward to seeing what Sir chooses for my "sub token". He is going to choose a piece of jewelry, a journal, or some other trinket to either wear, have or use during the video sessions and homework. I'm so excited to see what it will be.
So even though the home fires are on low, in a holding pattern, however you want to say it...I am over the moon to be doing something that not only takes me out of my comfort zone, but also makes Sir proud of me.
Wednesday, January 28, 2015
Wednesday, January 21, 2015
Life keeps getting in the way.
Don't you hate it when your current life gets in the way of the life you want to be living?
I recently had a raise in my meds because of a long term flare up of IIH symptoms and losing even more sight. So with that came increased side effects that I'm still trying to get used to, and the flare up still isn't under control, so I expect that I will be seeing another increase in meds when I got back to my neuro-opthomalogist.
Top that off with a kid who is struggling, and I don't have any energy at the end of the day. I'm in constant pain most days, but unable to medicate until evening because I need to be coherent for my kid. (And able to drive him to appointments at least 3 days a week.) all of this leaves me with few to no spoons to be able to be my kinky self.
I am still serving the best way I can. My first rule is to put self care above everything except our son and I've been doing that. It's so hard to be honest with myself and with Sir about how I'm feeling. I want so much to take care of all of his needs, instead I find myself swallowing my pride and admitting that I'm low on spoons, and unable to do more than rest and take my pain medicine.
(For those who have no idea what I'm talking about when I say "spoons" here's a link to The Spoon Theory: The Spoon Theory)
So that's where I've been, and what I've been up to. Not much other than one foot in front of the other. It will get better, for now it's an exercise in patience, and humility.
I recently had a raise in my meds because of a long term flare up of IIH symptoms and losing even more sight. So with that came increased side effects that I'm still trying to get used to, and the flare up still isn't under control, so I expect that I will be seeing another increase in meds when I got back to my neuro-opthomalogist.
Top that off with a kid who is struggling, and I don't have any energy at the end of the day. I'm in constant pain most days, but unable to medicate until evening because I need to be coherent for my kid. (And able to drive him to appointments at least 3 days a week.) all of this leaves me with few to no spoons to be able to be my kinky self.
I am still serving the best way I can. My first rule is to put self care above everything except our son and I've been doing that. It's so hard to be honest with myself and with Sir about how I'm feeling. I want so much to take care of all of his needs, instead I find myself swallowing my pride and admitting that I'm low on spoons, and unable to do more than rest and take my pain medicine.
(For those who have no idea what I'm talking about when I say "spoons" here's a link to The Spoon Theory: The Spoon Theory)
So that's where I've been, and what I've been up to. Not much other than one foot in front of the other. It will get better, for now it's an exercise in patience, and humility.
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