Sunday, September 28, 2014

Home again, home again...

Jiggity jig!
I had a good weekend away, though it was very draining. I took two friends with me and I have never traveled with one of them, so that was a new experience. It was interesting and mostly good. But I'm so introverted that 3 people in a hotel room (2 bedroom suite) for almost 4 days was an awful lot for me. We're doing it again in December, so I hope that it's less draining then.

Saturday was the best night. We spent 9 hours in the tattoo shop all three of us getting inked and then it was off to the bar. Our usual space was packed for a special event so we went to an old hangout. It was amazing! There were old white people dancing to an all black blues band in an Irish pub and our waitress was Asian. It was a wonderful example of the diversity of my home town. I felt right at home. Also, every person sitting around the table (9 of us) was kinky and out about it. So freeing!

When I woke this morning I was ready to be at home. We had lunch with my folks and then headed out, making it home in record time.

When I got home I found my poor Sir has a cold. So it's been a quiet evening around here.

Oh, and here's a picture of the new ink...naughty fairies. (Source material is The Bondage Fairies.)


Friday, September 26, 2014

More days of Kink

Day 11: What are your views on the ethics of kink?
Safe, sane, and consensual says it all.
Day 12: Tell us about a humorous BDSM/kink experience you’ve had. If you haven’t had one, talk about aspects of kink/BDSM you find funny.
In retrospect, the funniest thing that has happened to us during kink was the time we were visiting family for  Christmas and staying in a hotel. I had received a toy that I call, " the pointy shocky thing," for a present and Sir was using it on me. For so,e reason it was too much for me, so what did I do? I locked myself in the bathroom of our room. I was so screwed! I realized I hat to come out sometime, and Sir wasn't happy (obviously.) I came out and took my extra shocks and then was assigned 100 lines of  "I will not hide in the bathroom." 


Day 13: Explain as best you can what the appeal of kink/BDSM is to you? Why are you drawn to what you’re drawn to?
The appeal of kink? What isn't the appeal? For real, for me, I have been a subbie type, and a masochist since I can remember. So the appeal of kink is that I get those needs met. The pain that turns me on, makes me wet... I have a hard time coming without some sort of control over me. Even if there is no pain before we actually have sex, I still have to ask for permission to come. Honestly, it is hard for me to do so without some kink involved. 
If kink isn't involved, if I don't have some sort of control when I'm having sex, the orgasm isn't as good, almost like a yawn you can't finish. Pain and control pushes me over that edge. There is so much more... I love that I have structure and routine built into our dynamic. That I don't have to feel guilty about taking care of myself is so freeing. Being a suffer of chronic pain it helps me to take care of myself, which I am no good at since I'm the "fixer" personality type. I spend so much time taking care of, and managing the care of my special needs son that I forget to take care of me. Sir makes me remember that taking care of me is important.

Thursday, September 25, 2014

Leaving town

I'm leaving town again this weekend, need to decompress. These past few months have really taken a toll on me. So I'm running away from home for the weekend and will likely return with a large tattoo on my right quad. (That is if this damn cold stays away!)
Sir was kind enough to cane the hell out of my ass and thighs this morning so that as I'm making the 3 hour drive I think of him often. After the beating he gave me today, there is NO chance of that! I have the stripes to remind me, and the sore, raw skin too.
Thank you Sir.

See you all on the flip side!

Saturday, September 20, 2014

Quick rant...

So I'm taking this class on the science and psychology of violence, and frankly it's passing me off. In the discussion forums for the class there are several threads on BDSM. In those discussions people are letting their ignorance flags fly! In one in particular there is an s-type who asks a question about consent and how if consent is given then there is no victim. I agree with this person obviously, but the incredible ignorance from the responders has me wanting to do some actual violence.
Talk about victim blaming, even though there is not victim... They just keep going on and on about how could he/she let someone do that to her? Was she abused and is that why she lets herself/himself (everyone assumes it is a woman who posted even though it was never said) be a victim... Blah blah blah.
I've decided to stay off the forums and just do the lectures, and reading then I'll drop the class.

Kink- days 9 & 10

Day 9: post a kink related song or music video that you enjoy.

Video for Animal
Animal by Berlin

Looking at my little dress

Does it make you wanna take me now

And grab me with emphasis
Then you're gonna have to chase me down

And you won't finish til I'm done

And you won't quit it til I'm done
And you'll never get enough
And you'll bite til you draw blood

Can you feel the animal

I feel it when you touch my body
And you know what I really want
I want my fill of you, oh oh oh

Can you feel the animal

I feel it when you touch my body
I'll leave you lying on the floor
When I've had my fill of you, oh oh oh


So kiss me when you pull my hair

I like it when you make it hurt
I don't need a little boy

If you want it then you're gonna have to work

And you won't finish til I'm done

And you won't quit it til I'm done
And you'll never get enough
And you'll bite til you draw blood

Can you feel the animal

I feel it when you touch my body
And you know what I really want
I want my fill of you, oh oh oh

Can you feel the animal

I feel it when you touch my body
I'll leave you lying on the floor
When I've had my fill of you, oh oh oh
-----
I love Terri Nunn. She is an amazing performer, and still so sexy after all these years!

Day 10: What are your hard limits?
-no children
-no animals
-no scat
-no vomit
-no inflicting our kink on people who have not consented
-no permanent bodily damage






Wednesday, September 17, 2014

30 days of kink- days 7&8

Day 8: Post a kinky image you find erotic.
What is my favorite toy? Depends. Favorite vibe is my bullet, and my g-spot stimulator. Love them both alone or together. Favorite sharp sensory toy is either the vampire glove or the claw. My favorite impact instrument is either the cane or the single tail. I also love nipple clamps, the flogger and the yolk. (I have a lot of favorites, so hard to choose!)
Day 8 asks me to post a kinky image that I find erotic... Let's see what I can do:








Because let's face it, I can't ever choose just one. :)



Monday, September 15, 2014

Days of kink- day 5 & 6



Day 5: What was your first kinky sexual experience? 
To be perfectly honest I don't remember my first kinky sexual experience. It was with Sir when we were young, and I'm guessing it had to do with some light spanking and light bondage with silk scarves. It wasn't until college that we really started experimenting heavily in kink, and those years all run together in a hormone laced haze.

Day 6: Describe your weirdest/most interesting sexual fantasy.
I wouldn't necessarily call my fantasies weird, or anything... But the fantasy that I don't tell many people about is all about a "rape" scene. 
It goes down in one of two ways, either I am "kidnapped" off the street or it's a home invasion while I'm in the shower. 
Kidnapped:  I'm walking down the street, maybe an alley to keep vanilla onlookers from panicking when a white panel van pulls up and a masked man (Sir) pulls me inside, covering my mouth so my screams are muffled.  He ties me quickly in a hog tie with either duct tape or zip ties and drives me somewhere secluded where he proceeds to have his way with me, hard, fast, painfully...over and over.
Invasion: I am in the shower when a masked man breaks in and watches me in the shower for a while. As I turn the water off I see him standing there and scream. He slaps me to shut me up. Pulling me out of the shower he throws me to the floor and straddles me, hitting me, choking me until I start to give in. He tapes my mouth shut, and holds me down while he forces me to let him fuck me. He makes me shower again, and then he does it again. This particular fantasy can end there or it could go on all night. Depending on the mood and what we have negotiated before hand.

Wednesday, September 10, 2014

30 days of kink, days 3 & 4

Day 3: How Did You Discover You Were Kinky?


I decided to do days 3&4 together since they are pretty much the same answer. I discovered I was kinky as soon as I knew there was a word for it, maybe 14-15? That was when I read The Story of O for the first time, and all of my sexual thoughts and fantasies made sense...like they were normal. I was ok. After I read that I went on a research binge, reading everything I could get my hands on. (This was before the internet! the library became a very sensual place for me.)
Early experiences? Well the earliest thing I can remember was playing house with friends and always playing the part of the "problem child" so I was getting spanked. When I'd get spanked by my parents I would laugh, one time I laughed especially hard when my mom broke 2 wooden spoons over my butt. I got sexually aroused when my friends spanked me, but never when my parents did (thank goodness, my therapy bill is large enough.) 
I also liked to "rough house" with my brother's friends...a lot. I was always the damsel in distress being tied up and waiting for my rescue, or I was the prisoner of war being interrogated by the mean enemy. Typical kid games when you grow up with brothers, not such a typical response. I always went home from a play session and masterbated.
Yeah, my kinky self got an early start.

Tuesday, September 9, 2014

30 days of Kink- Day 2

List your kinks:


  • Submission, though this is more a way of life than strictly a kink.
  • Pain. Spankings, caning, sharp sensation, single tails, floggings... Pain.
  • Giving oral sex.
  • Bondage
  • Tit torture
  • Begging
  • Some humiliation play
  • Some pet play
  • Being collared
I could go on and on given enough time. But these are my main kinks. :)

Sunday, September 7, 2014

30 days of kink- Day 1.

Define your kinky self…. Dom, sub, switch?
I am a submissive, through and through. I am also a bottom, a masochist, and I am proud of it. In the vanilla world I have a lot of responsibility, my special needs son, his schedule, his school stuff, home care, plus I live with a chronic pain condition. So when I am at home, giving up that control is freeing. When decisions are no longer my own, when I need the reminder that in His house I belong to Him I feel at peace.

When his chosen implement strikes my flesh it is a brutal, yet beautiful reminder that I am His. I melt under the pain, I feed off of it. Honestly it is almost impossible for me to get off without it anymore. 

Asking for permission to orgasm is even freeing. 

Friday, September 5, 2014

Nothing to write

Not much going on here that is worth writing about. I'm still having a major flare up of pain so I'm out of commission, no sex, no kink, nothing but self care and kid care.
We've had some pretty significant stress that I'm not comfortable going into here come into our lives lately, so that has taken what little extra energy Sir and I have. We are ok, our dynamic is ok. Everything else will be ok...eventually.
I think to get back into the writing thing, tomorrow I will start the 30 days of kink. (Thanks Brat for the idea.) I might not finish it all in 30 days, but will do my best as pain allows.

Off to read everyone's posts. Have a good weekend!