Don't you hate it when your current life gets in the way of the life you want to be living?
I recently had a raise in my meds because of a long term flare up of IIH symptoms and losing even more sight. So with that came increased side effects that I'm still trying to get used to, and the flare up still isn't under control, so I expect that I will be seeing another increase in meds when I got back to my neuro-opthomalogist.
Top that off with a kid who is struggling, and I don't have any energy at the end of the day. I'm in constant pain most days, but unable to medicate until evening because I need to be coherent for my kid. (And able to drive him to appointments at least 3 days a week.) all of this leaves me with few to no spoons to be able to be my kinky self.
I am still serving the best way I can. My first rule is to put self care above everything except our son and I've been doing that. It's so hard to be honest with myself and with Sir about how I'm feeling. I want so much to take care of all of his needs, instead I find myself swallowing my pride and admitting that I'm low on spoons, and unable to do more than rest and take my pain medicine.
(For those who have no idea what I'm talking about when I say "spoons" here's a link to The Spoon Theory: The Spoon Theory)
So that's where I've been, and what I've been up to. Not much other than one foot in front of the other. It will get better, for now it's an exercise in patience, and humility.
Aw hon, how I so understand all this. While our conditions are different, we face a lot of the same issues it seems. I know how very hard it is, and I hope the Dr's can help you get the flare up under control some. Side effects are no fun to deal with. :/ Keep taking care of yourself, and we're all always here if you need us. *gentle hugs* xxoo
ReplyDeleteThanks Amber, I think you're right that we are so much alike. I wish I could come off all my meds and start over, but my meds are keeping me from going blind, so not likely to happen. Glad that marijuana is legal where I am and helps with pain better than narcotics ever have. Just wish I had a little energy to give Sir. Thankfully he is the most patient Dom in the universe!
ReplyDeletexoxo
I so understand. *hugs* Pot is legal here also, I've tried it for my pain levels a few times... so weird though, it puts me in such a bad mind frame/head space. Totally sucks, lol. Never used to do that to me in High School! :P Some keep telling me I need the cbd and not the thc out of it. :) Glad it helps you though, I've heard that from a lot of ppl. :) xx
DeleteYay for understanding and patient Doms huh! I thank my lucky stars for that also, dang near every day. lol
xxoo